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Tuesday, January 3, 2012

The Wonders of Physical Intimacy

Intimacy is a surprisingly spiritual quality known to the best of relationships. It can be thought as spiritual because there is an invisible power known to it, by the portion of blessing we receive from it when our relationships have closeness.

But what is powerful, so far as relational reward is concerned, is also enigmatic—we can become increasingly frustrated by the lack of intimacy, yet the harder we try (like restraining happiness) the more it evades us.

Intimacy, like happiness, can be a slippery thing.

There are two perceivable ways we can enjoy more intimacy: either if we work at a mental and emotional level on our relationships or if we create opportunities through physicality. Physical intimacy may often, and more tangibly, augment the deeper spiritual intimacy with our partners.

Employing Physical Intimacy

It could be said, because I’m a man, that physical intimacy is simply about more or better sex—it’s not only far more than that, it’s not even about that.

Employing physical intimacy as a way of enjoying more of a holistic intimacy we yearn for is doing simple things to ensure closeness—whether by more frequent and intense eye contact, holding hands, or hugging, or even standing close with one another whether we are engaged in conversation or not. Most tasks can be done to increase physical intimacy by better timing—to do them together, by intentional incidental contact.

Employing physical intimacy to feel closer to our mate is so simple we might neglect it as promising little worth the effort. But the simplicity involved in making the extra effort, even in doing innocuous physical things, is richly rewarded, even on a spiritual plane—to the warranting of the surprise factor; being caught by our partner doing something right!

Little things make big differences so far as intimacy is concerned, and a physical manifestation of such intimacy is all the more visible. Why would we not do it more often?

The Greater Blessings Of A More General Intimacy

Intimacy might be thought of as the pinnacle of romantic relationships, besides commitment that ensures safety and security, and passion which ever-strengthens our emotional and physical ties.

The wonders of physical intimacy are such that they make intimacy more poignant, so relevant, and ever front-of-mind. Such a thing ignites the more general, felt-on-the-inside intimacy.

Closeness, which is what is felt within intimacy, is what both committed partners’ desire most and above all, because, besides the commitment that is already implied, closeness is a base upon which romantic or companionate satisfaction is built, restored, and honed.


Enjoying good times and getting through more stodgy times suggests a foundation of intimacy is required. Such intangible things as trust and closeness need the support of a tangible physical intimacy—the spark to new levels of marital contentment.

© 2012 S. J. Wickham.

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