Until we ‘get’ forgiveness, we will not truly get life.
For, when we get forgiveness—when we understand how and why we
do it, by God’s grace—God puts life in proper perspective. Nothing is important
enough to be resentful for—not in truth; not with the backdrop of eternity in
mind.
There may not be a more important message for us regarding the
relational life.
None of us can escape this life, where we must interact with
others and risk being hurt, as well as being the source of hurt. If we would
escape, living as hermits, we would hardly be living life, and we may find
ourselves disposed to other problems because of our isolation. We were made to
connect with people.
Contentment within life, so far as relationships are concerned,
is not only achievable, but it’s what we need to strive for—as we surrender to
God our allegiances to resentment. And we all experience that climbing strain
of the angry, though fearful, emotion.
Entering
Relational Freedom
As soon as we understand that fear within relationships is
incompatible with relational goals we can begin to believe that all our
relationships can exist without such fear. Even for those people who may
torment us there is the possibility of forgiveness, such that we might
experience relational freedom; to not be bound in fear.
Entering relational freedom is really entering a place devoid of
fear.
There is one thing we must do to enter this place. We must
surrender our resentment; our ‘control’ over the situation (because we have
little control anyway); and our desire for recognition, respect, or reward. The
moment we can give these things up in order to advance the relationship in any
way is the moment we can experience grace enough to forgive.
Entering relational freedom is the life God has always sought to
give us, freely.
This life, the abundant life, is about living in harmony with
all people, recognising that each person has their restraints of personality to
deal with; each person struggles as we do, albeit in different ways.
More important than our individual and collective struggles,
however, is the common need. We all need to be loved and accepted. To be hated
and rejected is fuel for resentment. It never does us any good; or the other
person.
But as we rise up above this fear-enshrouded resentment, we earn
ourselves a reprieve from resentment, and forgiveness is augmented. We
understand that we win when everybody else wins; and that’s our objective. The
true life is lived by that objective. Then we know a reality where fear melts
away, because it’s unimportant. Then we know true blessing.
***
There is no sense to life without forgiveness. To forgive is to
love with happy abandon. When we act with the golden intent of love, the keys
to forgiveness are ours.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.
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