Hospitals were always my least
favoured destinations until I finally understood that there are many people
there who are frightened, lonely, bored, alone, feeling less than human, or
angry. I never really enjoyed being in hospitals when my children stayed, for
instance. I always felt so useless, as if I could hardly make a difference. But
then I reflected on the little things I could and would do to support the
person I knew in hospital. I learned that, though I was bored, I could be of
great support just by being there.
There is power enacted in acts of
silence. When we commit to being with somebody in a hospital, or in some other
undesirable place, and our commitment is not based on anything we can gain, God
speaks.
In the silence of our acts, God
speaks and God is glorified.
Sitting Shiva
The practice of somebody sitting
with a person who has just lost a partner or child, or somebody close to them,
and being committed to sitting without uttering a word, is the blessed practice
of sitting Shiva. Their whole focus
is on silent, practical support, understanding that a person’s acute grief
cannot be cajoled.
Such is the need for being with a
terminal cancer patient, or being there with or for the family. In some ways we
may feel useless, because ‘our work’ has very little of us in it. But the less
there is of us the more there may be of God.
One of the best investments within
the relational context is to be prepared to give
time. When we are extravagant with our time with those who need us, God
speaks.
The less we say, the more God
speaks.
Sitting Shiva—the Jewish custom
and practice—is a commitment and an art form of the godly that have the gift of
mercy. They can sit silently for hours and days, even up to a week during the mourning
period, to just be with the person in
need.
When Less Is Decidedly More
We know in many ways in life that
less is more. And less is more certainly in any realm where words cheapen the
vast spiritual experience where God communicates through pain.
The power enacted in acts of
silence is based in a faith beyond any faith in ourselves.
The less we speak in situations of
pain and difficulty the more God speaks. Why would we get in the way of God by
speaking too much? Though sometimes people in pain want to speak and listen. We must just ask who are we speaking for—them
or us?
Our acts of mercy should just be
that: acts where the person being ministered to sees the acts as merciful.
Sometimes we speak too much when we are anxious. Slowing down our speech and
restraining our words helps us communicate in a God-conscious way, being
accountable to God.
***
God speaks most powerfully through
our acts conveyed in silence, to just be there for others without strings
attached. Often our time is more valuable than our words.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.
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