All long term ‘soul mate’ relationships have this thing in common: A fatal flaw of one holds the other up in momentary disgust. Of course, the same fact’s in play for the reverse.
Believe it or not, fleeting moments when we love to hate each other actually reinforce our love, because, frankly, we put up with it; hopefully with a zest of poignant humour as we overcome our trying differences.
For Better or Worse
These things go a long way to shoring up commitment as the ‘for better or worse’ mandate is rubber to hit the road with.
Indeed, can there be a better real affirmation for love than going on past the irksome in each other? This is provided the habit, quality or thing about our partners is not too exasperating; sometimes this can be the case—especially if it’s harming.
What’s in focus here is not what pushes the relationship to unreasonable limits. We’re looking at the types of things that most people do. They tell us more about the heart of the partner, and our hearts—and none of our hearts are perfect. We’re broken people; lucky enough that a person of the opposite gender accepts us beyond these irritating matters.
Likewise, we find this with long term friendships—that quality that we’ve had to forgive again and again... or they’ve had to forgive us for. Again, this is for the strengthening of the bond of friendship through tolerance, and even to form within us as individuals the resilience of personal character in the midst of fellowship. Yes, our lack of tolerance is showing up our weaknesses, not theirs.
Whatever the relationship there’s never a perfect person—either side—who won’t try our patience or trust from time to time. This is good to be consciously aware of.
© 2011 S. J. Wickham.