My wife and I played this wonderful game on a recent date called, “Preach My Eulogy Now.” One thing struck me that came out of it. It appears the hug, and not just any old hug, but the ‘enveloping’ hug, is highest on her list of “things she’d miss if I weren’t around.”
This is the sort of hug that can take place vertically, but is best ‘performed’ horizontally. It’s the hug that communicates security and assurance. There’s nothing erotic about it; in fact, it’s the very symbol of marital intimacy and unity.
For the guy, it’s the chance to provide physical and emotional warmth. The lady receives. It communicates things that words cannot and works by stealth to heal many ailments.
One Thing Required – Time
The only tangible requirement to perform this hug properly is time, for hugs like these are not momentary acts.
Why hug only for a minute or two when ten, twenty or thirty lay at bay?
When a male partner gives his time to the relationship in a prolonged hugging manoeuvre there’s a lot afforded it in advance—it’s sowing power into the relationship that cannot be measured. Of course, this is not natural for most men (I self-identify). Men should understand that the enveloping hug is a prime dialect of the many a woman’s physical love language.
Aspects of time cannot be escaped. It’s a requirement that it be surrendered. That time would be considered luxury and not something counted—that’s the standpoint.
Once time is surrendered, and the hug has precedence, then the miracle can occur. The couple becomes the ‘matched set’; one in form.
Hugging Dates and the Timelessness of Intimate Moments
Imagine going out of your way to have a hugging date. Sure, hugging manoeuvres can occur instinctively all the time, but to take time out to engage in a session of hugging... what could come of it?
And this is the point. When we go into these types of intimacy-retrieving events we go in without expectation for what might eventuate, and we also go in with an open mind.
Timelessness is an open mind and vice versa.
An open mind prepares the heart to receive as the mind gives without thought for itself. Time appears null and void when both partners are in this space. So becomes the nexus point of the union. Nothing interrupts the spousal agenda and both are free to explore the intimacy as the collective imagination dictates.
© 2011 S. J. Wickham.