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Sunday, February 27, 2011

How Attractions Lead to Affairs

Lewd acts of unfaithfulness—affairs bring out the worst in our humanity. Reeking of perfidious secrecy, those party to the betrayal are in awe of the excitingly evil power they wield—some are thrilled by it, whilst others are shocked scared of it, though enticed all the same.

But what is not seen, or attended to, is the foresight of what’s coming when the news of the affair breaks.

For many people, however, their attractions never reach any level near that of an affair, but the potential is always there.

Affairs happen, as do the thoughts that get people to making their forlorn decisions—assuming here that affairs are foolish and full of inherent danger. Nobody ever wins out of an affair situation, not on the relational level or moral count.

The science of the affair can be understood as a process: made possible with attraction, commencing and developing with interest, and consummated by intentioned decisions to go that way. Sin is a process—from initial fleeting deceit, to more obvious signs where foolish justifications are made against the directions of truth that should otherwise prevail upon a sensible mind.

Affairs Are Made Possible with Attraction

These days it’s easy to see social-networking affairs happening. People might be half a world away, yet the attraction is generated, some communication is noted as interesting, glances are swapped, and given an ongoing mutual interest, who knows where from there.

More locally, the showing of interest to people who have something missing in their lives—those who are therefore looking—is likely to ‘hook’ interest.

If we don’t want to engage in an affair we should show no interest.

Affairs Commence and Develop with Interest

Showing an interest in something or someone is a deliberate act—one we decide for. No one tricks us into this.

An affair situation cannot develop if the attraction is left where it is—acknowledged, owned up to, and left behind. Equally it’s a decision, or a series of them, aligned with a morality adhering to truth. That is, to disembark from the forlorn vehicle.

But at some point one decision is made to act on a fanciful idea. Perhaps it’s seen as an exciting risk; one full of potential new and wonderful experiences to be had. If we’d go that way, interest is now the way to it.

Seduction commences first in the mind, well before the bedroom.

What has to be set in process is the detonation—as in a bomb—of a pattern of decisions; one decision propagating those flowing from it—one made in order to go all the way there.

Affairs are Consummated by Intentioned Decisions

Nobody ‘finds’ themselves in bed with someone other than their life partner by accident. It’s a series of decisions—a pattern of immoral allure—that got the person there. They’re maybe torn by many different flickers of emotion which only confuses their situation.

Emotions feature against sensible thought at this point.

From initial attraction to sin-made-real-and-undoable is a succession of informed choices. Where the information comes from, however, is in no dispute. Truth doesn’t take us there; only a lie—the wrong information—does. The mind is seduced to the wrong information; a fairytale—one never ending well.


It’s easy to be attracted to someone else other than our life partner.

The world is full of beautiful and charming people. But tarrying interest that catches up upon the attraction, and denials of attraction, are our danger signs... now to flee.

Wisdom is not getting anywhere near the interest-showing stage.

© 2011 S. J. Wickham.

Graphic Credit: Steve Baccon photo, courtesy of smh.com.au.

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