What comes easily in the early swirl of love becomes more difficult over time, especially as the panting romance phase wears off. It can become hard to stay imaginative about communicating our love with ingenuity and sincerity.
That’s the point. Originality blended to roll off the tongue, as if it’s meant direct from the heart is a challenge, but then again, there’s hopefully a vesture of trust a longer term relationship enjoys that a shorter relationship can’t claim.
It’s a good thing to think on; how to put a spark of joy into a partner’s day. Two characteristics are needed:
1. Extruding Ingenuity
As I’ve highlighted, having something original to say that’s meaningful is the first challenge. Yet, it’s only a challenge just now because we’ve not invested with appropriate creativity. With sustained right-brained focus anyone can come up with cute ideas to impress a mate.
With creativity comes the opportune moment to innovate.
2. Communicating with Sincerity
Innovation is the implementation of creativity, and sincerity is the golden way to innovate. It comes from the heart and can’t be faked, which is good, because if we mean it we can’t get it wrong. Loving partners will always give us the benefit of any doubt.
It’s good to think in ways of emphasising meaning, and we keep a lid on dramatics with sincerity.
Things to Say
These are just some suggestions:
C You’re hot today, darling... burning hot, no, really!
C I got this new oil; would you like a massage, honey? Neck, shoulders, back or feet—or the kitchen sink?
C I was thinking just now—pretty random, I know—about the best gifts you’ve given me... you’ve blessed me in so many ways—but none better than you just being you!
C The guys/girls at work were fascinated to learn about [the great thing your partner does]; they’re actually quite envious of me (in a good way).
C My word... thank you, darling for reading my mind and running that errand for me yesterday. You saved me from embarrassment. Though I don’t expect them, I so appreciate your acts of kindness.
C Where did you want to go out on our date, my dear? ~or~ We haven’t dated in so long; let’s go out tonight!
C [After a mistake] Without you I don’t know where I’d be—lost for sure. Really, you complete me, especially as sometimes I feel a person like me has a lot to make up.
Of course, it should go without saying (but I’ll say it anyway), we need to find our own words and ways of communicating.
To recap, two critical facets of having good things to say to someone you love are: 1) ingenuity: find something original and meaningful; and, 2) sincerity: deliver the words so they’re meant.
Lastly, it’s important to recognise that your partner might appreciate more than words; the five love languages involve also physical touch, gift-giving, helping out and quality time.
© 2011 S. J. Wickham.