“God, give me the patience to accept the
things I cannot change, the courage to change those things I can, and the
wisdom to know the difference—AMEN.”
—Serenity Prayer
Many of us have written gratitude lists, but I wonder how many
have written lists of things to be patient about—opportunities to express
acceptance through non-expression. By “non-expression” I mean that what we
listed, or it least acknowledged our angst about, those things we accepted, at
least intellectually, we could not
change.
Things for Mastering the Art of
Non-Expression
If we set out to list those things
we can do nothing about, our patience is aided. If we take stock, writing them
down, we empower ourselves somewhat in resisting the temptation to try to
change things that appear unchangeable.
A list such as this could comprise
the following, which I have intentionally written in the first person to aid
the reader:
1.
I cannot
change my family, whether I love them or not. Each member is different, some
likeable and some not, but they are my family. I cannot change the fact that
God will take them perhaps too soon. I cannot control my family.
2.
As they
say, the past is history. I cannot change the past, the decisions I made, or
the consequences of those decisions, or the things that happened to me beyond
my control. It is written on the record of the Book of Life. God will judge.
But I stand not condemned because of my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.
3.
To some
extent I cannot change the uncertain future coming my way. To some extent I am
equipped to deal with it. But for those things still coming that will
overwhelm, flummox or infuriate me I pray for the grace to accept these things.
4.
I cannot
change people, nor can I change their views on life beyond the influence that
God gives me. There are innumerably more people who I cannot help, nor
influence, than there are the people I can.
5.
Amongst
the gathering misfortunes, the circumstances of life as they have happened and
inevitably do happen, I cannot change these. It is difficult, even seemingly
forlorn, to think in terms of acceptance. But that must be my aim.
6.
I cannot
change the fact that I am blessed—as all are blessed. And I can do nothing
about others’ envy when circumstances, some beyond my control, cause me to be considered
especially blessed. All I can do is attempt to understand the lack within the
person who envies. This reminds me of the task for me whenever I experience envy.
7.
I cannot
change, to a large extent, the way God has wired and built me. What I feel, and
why I feel, are a representation of my personality and experiences; these,
given from God. How I look, also, is from God. Amongst my wiring are my fault
and frailties, those, God willing, that are being refined. But I cannot change,
that, in the body, I am broken.
***
Accepting the things we cannot
change is one half of wisdom. Acceptance is having the calm restraint of
patience, particularly when we are tested by things beyond, or partially
beyond, our control.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.
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