It is difficult to find words to
express the sadness we feel when someone has gone. And whether we are the ones
boarding the plane or not, matters little. Separation causes loneliness. Then there
is the difference between temporary separations and more permanent
arrangements—death, divorce, etc. Whilst we may entertain the remote
possibility that a temporary separation may become more permanent, somehow, at
least we have a high level of confidence that it will only be temporary.
Distance does funny things to us
emotional beings. We can feel quite separated relationally. It’s almost as if
we may feel unrelated in some way. This is predictably distressing.
We are caused to think on these
things, from periodically pondering thoughts with our feelings to experiencing more
troublesome states of mind. Sometimes anxiety or depression can get the best of
us.
When Arrangements for Separation are
Temporary
Many, many families in this day
operate remotely. The fly-in-fly-out roster is well embedded. Entire
relationships are based upon geographical remoteness, and loneliness, along
with missing loved ones, comes with the territory. We may live in a small world
in comparison to the universe, but the world is too big in so many ways.
The first thought regarding
temporary separations is the testimony
of our love.
We feel torn in our separation
because of love, and, the very fact we love, ought to be celebrated. Offsetting
the loneliness is a sense of fondness, and redirecting our loneliness we draw
hope that someday soon we will be reunited. And whilst we wait, we work on what
differences we can make to continually improve our relationships.
When Arrangements for Separation are
Permanent
The loss of something great
matters a great deal to us. No more can we deny this than we can put it back
together the way it was. Something irrevocable has happened. In with all our
grieving is interwoven a true sense of loneliness.
This sense of loneliness, unlike
the state experienced in a temporary separation, needs a different hope to
attach itself to.
We cannot hope for a return to the
way things were. Instead, we hold out for some possibility beyond what we have
previously experienced; unless we have navigated this sort of loss before;
unless we have grieved in similar ways.
Could this possibly be our hope? Grief
always teaches us something, and always something of true value as we look
back. To this we hold faith. We will find a way through. Our hope will be
restored. We will see. Certainly, we can rely upon those who passed through
this territory of non-returning grief before us.
They are often faithful guides who
have testimonies we want to believe.
***
In our large world we get
separated from our loving relationships. Loneliness and depressed feelings are
normal. Hope is the key when we are separated. When we believe in a hope beyond
the separation we can endure the separation.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.
Image Credit: AJglitteringimages.com
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