It would be a gross
underestimation to imagine any of us making light of our deepest spiritual
wounds. Whether we are patently aware, lost in denial or any position between,
our woundedness—our shame—clings deeply, personally. It stings when scratched.
The problem is, for healing to
take place—and we all need it—these wounds of ours need to be exposed and
expanded upon. This is best done by lifting them beyond our personal experience.
Our vulnerability is the problem.
Not many of us embrace such vulnerability. Lavishing embarrassment upon
ourselves is nobody’s desired pastime.
Yet our core wounding has weight
about it; it’s significant, it’s in our life, but finally, it is also woven into the narrative of life. Our wounding
is more connected to others’ wounding than we realise. Our shame, our guilt,
our anxieties, our embarrassments; they are more common than we contemplate.
Contemplating Our Shadows
Underlying much of our wounding is
shame. When we dig down and beneath many of our presenting psychological
pathologies—beneath guilt, for instance—there it is: shame.
We take an intrusive look into the
mirror, to gain a glimpse of who we really are, and we wonder who is looking
back at us. Do we know this person? Is this person looking back at me safe to
be around? Can I trust him/her?
Our incongruity with ourselves, as
seen through our psyche when we attempt to connect with that person looking
back at us from the mirror, is clear. This is a common phenomenon.
As the Jungians have it, we could
see our reflection from the mirror as symbolic of a shadow; a part of ourselves
we are yet to fully understand. As nobody truly knows God, in and out, nobody
truly knows themselves to the point of complete congruence.
This is part of the mystery of
life: self-discovery. Yet we discover much more of ourselves as we observe
others.
Depersonalising the Shame
When we can see life as limited
through another person’s eyes, we understand that limitations are inclusive of
life. Limitations, brokenness, and woundedness are common to the human
experience.
When we understand there is
nothing new under the sun—as the Teacher of Ecclesiastes puts it—we come around
to the fact that our wounds are not a lot different—and indeed may even be the
same—as others’ wounds.
This is liberating, for the shame
we experience has been depersonalised. We may then contemplate glorying in such
shame. From there is made a short leap to healing. And from there is our
licence to be an operative for God: from out
of our wound!
***
Embracing our wounds is central to
our healing.
When we depersonalise our wounding,
seeing how common our wounding is, we have access to healing truth. We are all
wounded. This achieved, our wounds liberate us and power our passion toward
service for God. We serve best out of
our woundedness.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.
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