I got to wondering recently
whether there was possibly a better privilege than being trusted with
somebody’s secret—and then I thought about the burden involved. When someone
shares a secret with us, they usually do so because it is somewhat dark, but
sometimes it can be good news. Whatever it is they share with us in confidence
we are trusted to hold the secret. This is assuming the secret doesn’t involve unreconciled
criminal activity and the like—nobody should be expected to bear that type of
secret. Yet sometimes people share all sorts of things about themselves with
us. How do we hold these things? And when is it appropriate to let go?
It is good, firstly, to consider we
all have secrets; pieces of information, or facts, about us that we wish to
retain with confidentiality.
God honours our secrets, at least
through the ability he has given us to manage our own information.
Balancing the Burden and the Privilege
If we are trusted with other
people’s secret, like certain people in helping professions are, we must be
able to balance the burden within the privilege of being trusted.
It is easy to feel burdened; like
we cannot hold what someone has told us. It may cause us stress or to be
anxious in some way. We may worry about them. But such burdens can be turned
around, especially in appreciation of the privilege of being trusted.
This is where prayer is beneficial. If we consider it a prayer when people are
brought to mind, alongside their confidential concern, God is helping us manage
the burden. God is the encouraging us to hold the burden—and the person—within
an intercessory accord. We are actively involved in the bidding for this person
with the angels of heaven. When we consider the unseen and eternal aspects of
what appears only to be a burden we begin to grasp the awesomeness of the
privilege involved in holding someone’s secret. God trusts us in this and not
just the person. We are honouring God.
If we can feel privileged and not
overly burdened in being trusted with another person’s secret, by keeping their
confidence, and not by divulging the secret (unless to not do so may
harm them or someone else), we have truly earned
their trust. This is a wonderful test of our integrity. Added to this, if we
can manage the burden, we are tested true so far as emotional and spiritual
resilience is concerned. But if we cannot bear another’s burden we may also be
revealed as wise—to admit our weakness. Again, this is where prayer, and possibly
a trusted mentor, comes into play.
***
Being trusted with another
person’s secret is the task of holding
that information about them. It is a mutual confidence for which the
relationship will rely upon.
But, at times, great discernment
and courage is required—some ‘secrets’ might involve us in bad ways—it is good
to meet these challenges head-on, not accepting the task of holding the secret.
It is good to be trusted, but also
to have the capacity to not feel overly burdened.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.
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