“Better
shun the bait than struggle in the snare.”
~John Dryden
Were there ever things regretted
as much as words? The apostle James warned us about the corrosiveness of words
in his Epistle. The grandest warning of all is that we cannot tame the tongue.
We are ever destined to say the wrong thing, to upset people, to lose control
of our irretrievable words.
So, avoiding the conflict of
words, however that may be achieved, is of lasting relevance. If we are able to
do that, we avoid regret and we damage fewer relationships. The benefits are
obvious.
Yet the way there is not so obvious.
Understanding The Complexities In
Relationships
We generally have no idea how
complex our relational world is. Even as we relate with ourselves there are
complexities we have no idea about. I mean, why do we feel the way we often
feel? If we can no easier understand ourselves, what chance do we have of
understanding others, comprehensively?
This is no reason, though, for
giving up before we have started.
We should remain aware of the
giant complexities before us. As we understand the complex interrelationships
between people, and between people with themselves, we begin to contemplate the
many dark motives and confused intentions that exist and the communication
errors that occur.
Whether people bait us or not, we
are often taken as baited. We can take things too seriously, or miss the
intention, or take things not seriously enough, among the many
miscommunications that entrap us.
Of course, others are in the same
boat. How others respond to us is easily perplexing and hurtful. They may feel
baited for something we have said or done.
One thing is for sure,
relationships are complex, and they always will be.
A Necessary Prudence – The Respect Of
Grace
As we keep this knowledge of the
relational complexities at the forefront of our minds, we are cautioned toward
a necessary prudence so we shun the things we could take as baits. We are
better to take less offence than our instincts will advise.
When we are armed with prudence we
begin to encourage the broader perspective. Our outlook is widened. And from
such a standpoint the respect of grace in advance can be issued.
Grace, which has its traction in
tolerance, is always the best as we meet situations that involved baiting. The
typical response to baiting, of course, is baiting in return. That is what we
avoid.
The idea is we stop the baiting in
its tracks. Instead of arrogance and ignorance, we meet such disdain with what
can be seen as an unreasonable tolerance.
That is Grace: undeserved favour.
And God will give us plenty of opportunity to practice issuing this undeserved
favour. Of these opportunities, we are to be thankful.
***
Words make us out as sick fools
when we take the bait. It’s better by far to delay our instinctive response.
When we actively check what we are about to say we hurt people less.
Words carry disease. Better to inoculate
our words before they are sent viral.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.
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