There is the belief among many
counsellors that people who have fallen upon hard times have the capacity and
resource within themselves to recover. Those having difficulty adjusting to
their new situations, many of which have occurred beyond their choice, can
negotiate these situations; but help helps.
People in many counselling
capacities, whether in private practice, from churches, or as caseworkers, have
an innate belief that people come to them with
the answers.
The counsellor merely provides
space where a special relationship can be developed where perspectives may be
viewed together and anew.
But when we fall into a depression,
when life turns awkwardly, and we begin feeling incapacitated or overwhelmed,
we may stop believing we have the answer.
Where Will Our Help Come From?
The concern of where will our help
come from—how will we recover, and when?—could become our overriding concern.
And such concern can become desperate.
We can become so polarised to the
helplessness, we begin to seriously doubt recovery will ever come. We see more
barriers than agency. We see more reminders of our helplessness than we do of
reason for hope. We may feel incredibly isolated.
We hardly think that the answer
might come from within us, for
we cannot see just now.
Perhaps it may turn out to be that
we had the answer all along, but we needed the space and the assurance with
which to proffer confidence for a fresh onslaught in the living of life.
Help out of a depression can
certainly seem impossible. But it is amazing what support and encouragement,
coupled with an openness to explore new perspectives can do.
A Vision Of Recovery
A lot of the time the sort of help
we need is actually miniscule. But it is no less critically important. It might
be as if we are trudging up a cloudy hill, and we have no idea where the top is.
The person who helps us may merely lead us a few steps to the top where we can
see our lives more clearly.
As we pirouette at the top of the
hill, we see the cloudy formation we came through, and we begin to see, more, from
a safer perspective, that life is full of similarly cloudy formations.
We begin to see the purpose in
trudging up that hill. Now others’ hills have our attention and empathy. We
draw confidence that getting to the top of our hill was due to our own capacity
and resources—with a little help from a friend.
When hope has returned, and maybe
even embellished our view of life, we have a strange new capacity for living.
The rut we endured actually worked out for our best.
***
Little things make big differences
in the difficulties of life. There is power in renewal as there is power in having
openness within ourselves. Seeking help out of a depression can prove the
making of us.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.
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