“She sleeps too late.” “He snores
and he shouldn’t” “That work must be
finished on time!” “You must keep your promises.” Okay, whatever...
Who makes the rules? We all tend
to make rules based on our own experience, personalities and views. The way we
see our world colours how we regulate our world. And a regulated world—where
rules hold sway—is not much fun for anybody.
What if there were no rules?
What if there were no encumbrances
on us and we were free to decide? A lot depends on our morality; faced with
freedom, there are a million different choices.
Sometimes rules are necessary, but
they must be achievable in good conscience.
There are good reasons for many
rules of life—rules and laws to protect us in a civilised society. But these
aren’t the rules that are in scope for this article.
No, we want to establish who sets the rules for life beyond the
law.
Who tells us what to do?
This is the life, that, as adults,
we have much discretion over. It’s about how we choose to live. It’s about
working out, by responsible means, what we will accept and what we won’t. It’s
also about working out the vast flexibility between what is acceptable and what
isn’t.
What Rules Have We Placed Ourselves
Under?
Sometimes as we look back we
discover the rods we have made for ourselves in accepting certain rules—a level
of living governance brought over the top of us. This, in many respects, could
be from our partner or the boss or from an adult child or a friend.
Determining what we have chosen to
accept in the past is important for determining what we can expect to accept in
the future. Life works best when we maintain the momentum. If we decide we must
change it takes much more effort to do so.
If we find ourselves having bowed
to certain rules we can no longer live with, breaking past the inertia of
continued acceptance is our biggest challenge. But we can change if we see the
need.
And at a level we must. If we are
cowered down by certain rules that we have a choice over, by continuing to
accept what we believe is wrong is bad for us. There comes a time for courage,
to do the thinking around what we will accept and what we won’t, so far as
rules are concerned.
Life Is Freer Than We Think
When we think of who actually makes the rules, beyond the
laws of the land, we can safely establish it is God. Most other ‘rules’ come
from our beliefs.
When we break past our
beliefs—which were informed by our highly selective experience—which is no
basis for determining rules others should live by—we find there is a freedom we
can offer all in our midst. In that, we too gain freedom.
We are freed to love.
Breaking past our beliefs, those
things set down in the families we were brought up in, is the best way of
debunking the falsity regarding how others should live their lives.
Life is freer than we think, if we
can get past the rule-making and the rule-abiding.
***
When people impose rules on
others, especially where the other has no choice, freedom is vanquished and
tyranny is released. In relationships, there are few rules beyond love. And any
rules made should be agreed.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.
this thing so real so sad so good im happy to read it thank you
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