Seasons of
rockiness,
Years of
turmoil in a row,
Put paid
to marriage’s cockiness,
Yet soon, in perseverance, we
grow.
Calamities
are despairing,
But hold
on we must,
All it
takes is caring,
To endure the sense of distrust.
If the
unit that is “we,”
Has any
chance at all,
We have to
learn to breathe,
That, or we may fall.
Kindness
and compassion,
Stand us
in good stead,
They help
when we’re crashing,
Giving reason why we’ve wed.
Truth is we
stand to learn,
Commitment’s
a simple wonder,
No better
love do we earn,
Than the one we’ve not put
asunder.
When Uncertainty Comes
Uncertainties come to test our
relationships at the least expected times. As life is dynamic and
unpredictable, so are our fortunes. A good season won’t necessarily follow a
bad one, and vice versa. Just focusing on goodness and fortune can be a trap of
itself.
Sometimes our relationships are
proven by the tests we have to endure.
When uncertainties come and spill
over from our personal lives into the lives of loved ones there has to be an
effect. Compassion is issued to a degree, but even compassion wears thin. One
person’s chagrin invokes another’s, and so a process commences of individuals
polarising into themselves.
The two who have become one begin
to become two again.
Next thing there is a gradual
walking away—not a physical thing, but a spiritual thing. We spend less time
together. Interests diverge and suddenly we need and want less of each other.
Though we mightn’t feel it at the time, the relationship has reached somewhat a
crisis point. But most relationships experience such stretching.
How might this end?
Relationships progress either one
way or the other; the divergence continues into an unknown oblivion or the
gravitation pulls the couple into the original alignment.
When Honesty Reignites Commitment
If partners to a marital
relationship can be honest with each other, and their love remains, desires
enjoined, there is the re-ignition of commitment.
Where mutual desires meet with
passion, and there is a unified hunger for intimacy, commitment is the vehicle
to a soothing reunion of souls.
Together with honesty and the
special ingredients of feeling—of wanting what “was”—commitment, as that
vehicle, gains traction.
When relationships have a future
it is love that compels us to invest in honesty that reignites the commitment
that was once taken for granted.
The re-firing of commitment
requires honesty, which, in turn, is evoked by courage. And courage is what we
need in enduring the dry season. Not the courage of bravery, but the courage to
persist and to have faith that goodness will again be known in the union.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.
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